


things forgotten and reinvented

by humanveil



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Episode: s10e15 Lead, F/F, Season/Series 10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 07:34:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15881490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanveil/pseuds/humanveil
Summary: “You mad?”Olivia shakes her head. “I think that would be easier.”





	things forgotten and reinvented

**Author's Note:**

> Quickfic for the dialogue prompt: “You never had to worry about that.”

They make plans to go for drinks after the trial; the same way they used to, years ago. It’s Elliot’s idea, the suggestion thrown out there as they descend the courthouse steps, and in that weird, innate way, Olivia knows he’s going to back out at the last minute. That he’s going to leave her alone with Alex and force her to confront  _it_. Whatever the hell  _it_  is. 

They return to the precinct, very carefully not speaking about it—the same way they haven’t spoken about it since Alex walked onto their crime scene almost a month ago. It’s not until they’re done for the day, not until they’re almost at the Sedan, that Elliot turns to her and says, “Lizzie’s got a thing,” in a way that clearly means  _I’m not coming with you._

“A thing,” Olivia repeats, hardly surprised, and her deadpan makes his mouth twitch like he’s biting back a grin. 

“Yep,” he says. Stops at the car to unlock it. “It’s important.”

“Convenient that you forgot it, then.” 

He lifts his shoulder in a half shrug. “Minor slip up.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I have time to drive you.”

“‘Course you do,” Olivia murmurs, the words almost inaudible. She glares at him across the hood of the car, but it’s not malicious. Not really. “Bastard.”

She lifts a hand to open the passenger door and slips inside as he snorts: the sound soft and airy, like he thinks it’s funny. Like her faux animosity is amusing to him. 

“‘s called being a friend,” he says, almost sarcastic, and Olivia sighs. Shakes her head. 

“Just drive,” she tells him, and he does. The ride blissfully silent until he stops outside the bar.

“Good luck,” he murmurs, and Olivia almost rolls her eyes.

“Have fun at Lizzie’s  _thing_ ,” she says.

Elliot laughs as she exits the car. A loud  _you’ll thank me later_  gets thrown out the window as she steps out onto the street, but Olivia ignores it. Doesn’t look back as she walks toward the bar’s entrance. 

[]

The bar itself is nice, quiet compared to the usual places. It’s where she and Elliot go when they want the comfort of alcohol without the chaos of a cop bar, and it annoys her just a little that he’d chosen  _here_. That he’d picked a place where he knows you can have a conversation. A place where he knows she won’t be able to run from one. 

Alex sits tucked away at the far end of the bar, the blonde of her hair a stark contrast to the dark décor, and Olivia walks toward her. Smiles when Alex looks up.

“Hey,” she says.

“Hey,” Alex returns. She looks behind her, expression confused for a second before it morphs to realisation. Understanding. “Elliot bail?” 

“Mmhm.” Olivia takes a seat beside her, lifts her hand to gain the bartender’s attention. “His daughter has a thing.”

“A thing,” Alex repeats, and Olivia can tell she believes it just as much as she had.

“Apparently it’s important,” she says. Leans forward a moment later to relay her order.

“Oh, I bet,” Alex responds. She’s smiling, but it fades a moment later. Is replaced by a quiet sigh. “I suppose we should have seen that coming,” she says then, and Olivia tilts her head in acknowledgement.

“Probably,” she says. Smiles her thanks as the bartender places a drink in front of her. “He thinks he’s being helpful.”

Alex hums. Puts her elbows on the bench and rests her chin in her hand, tilts her head so she can look at Olivia. She’s silent for a moment, quiet as she takes in the sight: familiar and yet different. Achingly so.

“You mad?” she asks, and it’s quiet. Tentative. Putting off this conversation had been easy with a trial to worry about, but it’s harder now. Especially here, where they’re alone. Especially when they both know how much they need to have it.

Olivia shakes her head, clenches her hand around the glass it holds. Her gaze is fixed on the bench in front of them, on a dent in the wood. “I think that would be easier,” she says. Sighs. Her eyes shutting momentarily as she lifts her drink and takes a sip.

“I’m sorry,” Alex tells her. “I am. I tried, but—” She cuts herself off, has to look away. She really had tried, had  _wanted_  to come back, to contact Olivia, but every time she would try she’d be hit with a wave of inexplicable fear. Apprehension. Worry that maybe she wasn’t welcome anymore, that maybe it was  _different_ , now. That returning wouldn’t be easy. “It’s just… complicated,” she says softly, and Olivia laughs beside her. The sound airy and humourless.

“Yeah,” she murmurs, though it’s not hostile. Not combative. If anything, it’s resigned. Tired.

Beside her, Alex sighs again. Shifts on her stool so they’re closer, so that they’re almost facing each other. “I was scared things would be different,” she admits. “That  _I_ would be different.”

Olivia looks at her, confused. “We didn’t expect you to be the same,” she says. “After what happened—We. I. Did you really think—” Olivia stops, shakes her head as if to clear it. “Alex,” she starts, and this time she reaches forward. Drops her hand down over Alex’s own in an act that’s painfully familiar; an act that was common, habitual only a few years earlier. “You never had to worry about that,” she says quietly, and she means it. The sincerity written clearly across her face.

The hand beneath her own twitches, the flesh warm and soft to touch. Alex huffs, almost a laugh, and leans toward her. Like she wants to drop her head to the curve of Olivia’s shoulder and leave it there. Like she wants to take the moment to simply breathe, to let the comfort of familiarity wrap her up in a sense of security.

She catches herself at the last second. Only just manages not to. “Fill me in on what I missed,” she says. Flips her hand palm up so her fingers can intertwine with Olivia’s, her gaze locked on where the darker shades of Olivia’s skin meet her own.

There’s a beat of silence; a shadow of a smile flickering across Olivia’s face. She doesn’t fight the shift in conversation, just asks, “Where do you want to start?”

They sit there like that for a long while, going back and forth with stories until the last few years make a little more sense. Until they both have some understanding of what had happened in each other’s lives. Until they feel like _them_ again: not replicas of themselves from five years ago but something new and just as good, if not better.

When they leave, it’s well into the late hours of the evening. Alex suggests they share a cab, the offer a thinly veiled invitation to go home with her, and Olivia agrees. Thinks,  _something, something, old habits._

[]

When she walks into work the following morning, she’s wearing the same clothes she’d worn the night before. Elliot grins at her from their set of desks, his face lined with a knowing expression, and Olivia wants to shake her head. Refuses to meet his eye.

“Shut up,” she says as she takes her seat, and he lifts his hands as if in surrender.

“Didn’t say anything.”

Olivia gives him a look. “You thought it,” she says, and he snorts. Hands her a file a moment later, the action accompanied by a low murmur of  _a thank you wouldn’t hurt._

Olivia snatches it from him, her mouth twitching in an act of betrayal, and refuses to offer a response.

**Author's Note:**

> comments & kudos = ♡♡♡
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/irnstrk) / [tumblr](http://humanveil.tumblr.com/)


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